6 PATTERNS:

Who we are today is dependent on our personal journey and growth. In growing up, we learned how to interact with parents, siblings, extended family, friends and enemies. We also developed patterns that we depended on as we moved through life's adventures and challenges. Whether you are successful or struggling, you will find repetition in your reactions and responses as you reflect back on your life. These lifestyle patterns can be beneficial to us, but they can also hinder.  When a repeated action and response keeps you from becoming a better human being, it is time to reevaluate the pattern.

Throughout life, there are six basic patterns:

1. Domination -- It's your way or the highway; This mindset can result in the loss of family and friends.

2. Always Right -- The fear of messing up or being wrong keeps you from being open and spontaneous, suppressing your freedom of expression.

3. Instant Gratification -- You're attracted to the quick and easy fix, but this prevents you from making and keeping commitments.

4. Never Your Fault -- You refuse to take responsibility for your actions, as a result,  you can't grow as a person.

5. Avoiding Vulnerability -- You are afraid of emotional hurt, and so you hide your feelings and avoid relationships.

6. Staying Safe -- You find safety in consistency and routine. But, when you keep your actions the same day after day, it keeps you from making changes to improve your life.

Once we understand the patterns in our lives, we can consider the truths.

5 TRUTHS:

1. You can't change, if you don't see the issue.

2. You have to own and embrace (the issue) to make a change.

3. You can't change (the issue) with the same mind-set that creates it.

4. You are always moving in and out of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual balance.

5. The way you habitually do one thing is how you will habitually do everything.

With this knowledge, it is important to reflect and better understand your actions and reactions.

6 MEDITATIONS:

1. Relaxation Meditation - the basic style of learning and being in the moment, focusing on breath and muscle relaxation.

2. Reflection Meditation - the style of reflection to see where you are in your life.

3. Introspection Meditation - the style of looking back to see where an issue arose and how it has affected your life.

4. Contemplation Meditation - the style of looking forward to see the power of overcoming issues.

5. Power Meditation - the style of producing Will Power for the moments challenge.

6. Self-Mastery Meditation - the style of using all of the above to overcome an addiction issue.

You Are Making a Choice to Change

The next step of the process is, Choice. You will have to choose to alter your mind-set if you want to be successful at change. This involves creating a list of actions that allow you to evaluate your progress and, in combination with will power and reflection meditation, gives you a path to success.

Choice Process Example:

In this scenario, you have discovered that "Instant Gratification" is the pattern holding you back. You struggle to keep commitments, resulting in the loss of jobs and friends. Now that you see the pattern, you own it and make the decision to change it.            

We start by picking a small task. In this case, being punctual for work.  You will look at several tactics that will help you to be on time and judge how successful you might be with each option.

1. Use multiple alarm clocks

2. Money awards for punctuality

3. Asking friends to help by checking in on you, ensuring you are awake and keeping to your schedule

4. Get a dog that will depend on you to be walked in the morning.

5. Etc..... there could be any number of options.

Then you evaluate each option to choose three or four that will guarantee a successful outcome.  Combined with power meditation and reflection meditation, you will build your willpower to push through the pattern holding you back. It may be a small task you assign yourself, but once you overcome it, you will become more powerful. Your ability to commit becomes stronger and you will have learned a process that you can use throughout your life.

This process works because it forces you to recognized and own your problematic patterns. It enable you to then visualized how changing it will make you a better human being.

HELPFUL RESOURCES

As you begin your journey toward choice and change, here are a few books and resources that I have found useful: